Belonging
Today I received a text from somebody I was involved with a couple years ago. Somebody who left abruptly but left nonetheless. The text was a photo of a big white mushroom, perfectly shaped, next to an old tree in a somewhat unkept suburban area. The message that accompanied the photo was ‘...you like things that don’t belong.’ To which my reply was that I like things that stand out, everything and everyone can belong. My initial reaction to the message, after the surprise ceased, was this person still did not know me even after almost 3 years together. This person continued to see life through their own lens. During our time together, our conversations focused on how they didn’t belong - the black sheep of the family, different than people in the workplace and even found reasons to not belong in the relationship. The key here was always finding reasons to not belong. While I do acknowledge there are people who purposefully exclude others but my experience has been most people are open to others. At what point did it become a choice to not belong or was it truly others creating obstacles to belong. Many times in my younger years I felt like I didn’t belong - felt out of place, different and odd - sometimes based on how I looked, where I lived, who I believed I was - but I didn’t always feel like I belonged.
Now much older, I can recall the friends who opened to door to feel a part of their world, the times I tried to fit in but didn’t — I guess I was meant to stand out and the times I slipped away after finding reasons to not belong. So many times it was on me - I was the one who believed I didn’t belong. And also being older knowing some still struggle with this, I do my best to open that door, provide some assurance that people do belong — and at times youre meant to stand out —you just need to find your right tribe. I know I can’t make another believe they belong — that is something they have to accept for themselves, but I can help clear a path and provide a welcome mat. ~ChaCha
