The Happiness Approach
I think most of us grew up figuring if you found success then you would be happy. And the definition of success definitely meant different things but for many it meant a comfortable life, good job and possibly a nice family. I know for me, my family pushed for a good job, a good relationship, and well the rest would fall into place. Success = Happiness. And yet that formula didn't quite work out that way. Not that is was completely off the mark but the sequence of events is all wrong. I aimed for the formula to find success and happiness would follow. I was able to secure a good job, I was content with it and it paid the bills. I met somebody and married but it was an empty marriage though I put up a pretty good front. And I had friendship that seemed to be strong, well as long as I was there when the other person saw fit. On the surface success seemed to be achieved yet happiness was not even part of the equation. A long time ago a story was shared with me about a little girl who had two parents who loved her very much, had a carefree time when school was out for summer and had fond memories. Only after a while did it come to light to her the material things were sparse but that didn't define her childhood. She was happy and grateful to have a family that loved her. And it hit me. It's not success that leads to happiness. It's happiness that leads to success. What I drew from that story was happiness and gratitude are keys to success. When I began practicing gratitude - even for things that I didn't like - I found that each experience of gratitude I received something good or a lesson in life. Both outcomes were something to be grateful. And when gratitude became the way of life, the feeling of happiness followed quickly. My focus is staying in the moment of gratitude and happiness and when success appeared, it was the bonus. I no longer measured my life by success but by gratitude and happiness.Â
Success became a extra benefit, not the focus. And it also began looking far different than the roadmap I had developed in my mind of success will lead to happiness. It was liberating to let go of the roadmap and see the journey I had created and still am creating. Now that was success to me. So the next time you are trying to find that feeling of happiness among the worldly things, rethink what it means for you to be happy. You may be surprised by what you find when you look at it differently. ~ChaCha
