The Gift of the Present
I may have written about this before, but as you see it still sits on my mind. As you know the word "present" has a couple meanings. I think for most it means the item given to honor a person on their birthday or for a special occasion such as a wedding or baby shower. In those cases, it is a gift, a kind gesture usually intended o celebrate something. I think we can agree most like that type of present.
The other meaning means the here and now. This moment. The present. Now that one is a bit tougher to say how we feel about it. Most often it depends on how the we feel, the circumstances, what we wish for and/or the people around to name a few influences. At least that is what I believed for a majority of my life. I wondered how it came to be this way? How we deal with the present, the here and now, often depends on how the adults around us dealt with it as we were kids. The influence some forget exists. Are we responsive to the present? Do we want to control the present? Do we get upset with the present? Do we run from the present? And for me, I would answer yes to all of those observed in my youthful formation- maybe not all at once but often in combinations. The one thing I don't remember observing often is accepting the present. I believe this goes back to the mindset that life happens to us. And to some extent this may be true - I know I do not control many things, other people and even some decisions that may impact me (after many years of of my ego thinking it could control everything). If somebody makes a wrong move in their vehicle, I could get in a car accident. If somebody I love decides to go away, I could get hurt. Others decisions yet the impact is to me and my present. They say life is 10% of what happens and 90% of how one reacts to it. This, my friends, is very true. Reflecting back on the many years of thinking I control the present, it was usually my reaction that brought about angst, anger and unhappiness -- and in reality was no so much what actually happened but how I responded to the event. In fact, I think trying to force some other outcome to the present other than accepting what occurred actually brought on less happiness by my own doing. I'm not sure if it was time, maturity, acceptance or my own mind telling me I should stop trying to control everything. Somewhere after realizing the olds ways are not working, why not try a new way. Why not accept the present as it is, with all the joys and/or tears that may accompany it, with the lessons and/or thrills that evolve. I figured the other way wasn't working out so why not. What have a got to lose. In fact I had everything to gain. I learned the present is a gift. Now the other meaning was merging with the first meaning --- who knew right? (Though I know many others already knew this ....it has just taken me a while to catch up). When I finally accepted the present, peace followed. And when peace exists, so does a feeling of calm and happiness. I also learned from the present - is to feel the joy and let the tears flow. I saw how the present most often was just a moment, passing by and not the long lasting reaction I would create in my mind (the 90% reaction). Things feel better. I smile more. I have appreciation for both good moments and tough moments. I feel peace. As with everything, this is not an overnight revelations and suddenly all is perfect. This is a continued mindset, a conscious mindset, an aware mindset to watch for moments that may cause me to slip back into the old thinking of trying to control the moment. Journals, reflecting, seeking gratitude and seeing beautiful things all help stay the course on accepting the moment and the road to peace. ~ChaCha
