Nobody Would Understand
I think that is a thought that runs through many folks minds on a regular basis. Of course each person's situation is unique with details that pertain to only one person or situation. That may, at times, allow us to fall into the solitude that nobody would understand therefore why deal with it. I know I have done that many times, probably more than I could count. And at times, I've used that as an excuse to keep to myself. A loss of a family member in the last year certainly left me feeling in this way, that nobody would understand. It was a tug of war of feelings that I was struggling with and still do from time to time. How on earth would anybody understand losing a family member? Well, in actuality there are many people who would understand since death is just as much a part of life as life itself. But still, nobody would understand what I was experiencing so why bother folks with it. When I would let logic settle in and found a person I could trust, I would share some small details of the loss of my family member. I am blessed with folks who are good listeners and just absorbed the small morsels of how I felt to let it just sink in. And the response nearly 95% of the time was - I can relate. I too had a family member in the same situation. What? You can relate? You have experienced something like this too? To the extend of a small detail that was so critical to this experience? How could that be? I learned - it can be. It can be because there are many others who are in the exact same place - thinking nobody would understand and keep to themselves so there is a whole community of folks believing nobody would understand. My experience, in particular, was that many people had experienced a loss of family or somebody close and with the detail that I thought I was alone in experiencing and they too believed nobody would understand and admitted to not sharing much. Granted some of the details of each person I spoke to and what they shared was different but we each had the similar underlying situation. There was somebody, even somebodies, who would understand. So I was completely wrong. There are people who would understand. Maybe not the precise details of my specific situation but so many that were in the same situation - in both the loss of a family member and in believing nobody would understand. In the end, it's a matter of believing there is somebody who would understand and to feel comfortable to share what you experienced or how you feel about something. There are others in the same solitude as well so when I can return the favor, listen and let them know they are not alone, I take every opportunity to do it. There is somebody who would understand, so trust that does exist and trust enough to share. And in turn, you never know when you are the person uttering the phrase "I understand" and supporting another letting another know there is somebody who understands. ~ChaChaÂ
