Feeling Comfortable?
I'll admit I'm the type of person who wears my heart on my sleeve. I would be in a meeting or hanging out with friends and it was very easy to tell what my emotional state was by my facial expressions or body language. My emotional intelligence was challenged. In a relationship I had a while back, the person I was in a relationship with stated that I didn't always need to show my emotions, that I really should try to get control of my emotions and not let them peek out of the sleeve each time something affected me. At first I was resistant to the idea, however since I cared about this person I took what they stated to heart. From that point forward during meetings and interactions with people, I would try to stay within a range of emotions --not too high, not too low, not too excitable, not too dull but somewhere in the middle -- to appease others. Now I will admit staying in the middle of that range of emotion certainly felt like I was in a little control and at the same time I found that others received me better. And other times I felt fake and not being the "authentic" me. I read a quote today :
I'm keeping my emotions within that nice range in certain situations - not too high, not too low, not too excitable and not too dull. I have found that even thought I have masked my feelings and people still knew how I felt. As much as I tried to deny my feelings they would fester inside of me and find a way to show. I've come to realize that the decision to keep my emotions in check seems to have been more for the person that I was in a relationship with and more for the other people sitting in the room during those meetings then they were for me. I suppose in my typical nature to please others, I took the advice and I put it into action but in the end my feelings were still showing and growing. Since the smaller range of emotions seem to be more better received in the workplace, I try to reconfigure how to be able to not suppress my feelings and not let them be denied yet still be able to allow them out, thoughtfully, as to not make others uncomfortable. So while I don't think the advice specifically that was given to me was given with the right intention and at the same time I think I just need to go back to the drawing board to figure out how to do a better while retaining my authentic self. Â ~ChaChaÂ
