Today is ....
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Well, actually I said that yesterday and affirming it again today. Every day is the first day of the rest of your life. Never forget that. So my yesterday and today have a larger significance for me than usual. I made a leap of faith decision. One that will change the course of my future. It was a needed change. I find myself easy to jump into changes that benefit others and slow to make decisions when it benefits me. So this leap of faith decision is sort of a big deal. So in the days leading up to this, I kept asking myself why? Why do I jump for others? Why do I put others' needs before my own? I think I still stand behind the upbringing to put others before myself, to be there for others in need and if I give until I am empty, I will receive in due time. Generally I would be labeled an empath too - feeling others ups and downs and letting others steal my positive energy (and receive their negative energy in return). What a combo huh? Yep, that's me. So after months and years of ebbing and flowing and practicing my inner flexing by bending to meet what others need I found the leaning was in one direction, not toward me. And in spending so much time bending, ebbing and flowing, I somehow lost myself and what I need in life. I put all my energy into another and forgot myself in the mix. So for the last couple weeks, I'm grateful to recognized what was going on. I placed things into perspective with the vision of what would I tell a good friend if I observed what was happening in my life. And by taking a third party perspective, I was able to really look at things objectively. Now I am not going to bash myself for "knowing better" or "should have seen it coming", I experienced life as I was meant to be and for not that experience, I may not have considered what would I tell a friends and I certainly wouldn't have had the courage to take the leap of faith back into me. And while I feel broken from the whole situation, I know I will be stronger for it. I know the broken and put back together me becomes wiser each time. I know the broken and put back together me will see my future with the experience of knowing. So today is, everyday is, the first day of the rest of my life and for that and all the experiences that led me hear, I am truly grateful. ~ChaChaÂ
