Ten Years...
It's hard to believe it's been ten years since I made a very difficult decision that would impact not only my life but the lives of people I love. And while I do believe in those milestone dates, years or events, it took for the date to come and go for me to realize how to feel about it. Earlier I wrote about reflection and how that can be a means to understand ourselves and help sort things out. I was able to use that to reflect on this ten year milestone and try to sort out how I feel. I had feelings of failure, feelings of gratitude, feelings of accomplishment and feeling my story isn't over yet. I began the day feeling a bit of that grieving that occurs when you lose something you had held so dear. While many believe grieving is reserved for those who pass away, I see how a major loss in a life event can have the same impact. A different sort of loss but a loss that can be difficult to manage. And part of that loss included letting go of a hope that I would somehow fulfill my dream but even in the ten year period, that has not yet come to be true. But failure isn't the worse thing in the world. I learn from it and accept it's just not my time, not yet. I then felt gratitude that I had the courage to make such a difficult decision. And in the ten years since grateful to have a great family support and friends to stand by me during that time. And grateful for the help people gave me with this decision itself and how to continue to live my life after the decision. If I had stayed stagnant, I would not have discovered so much about myself, about my loved ones and grown in ways I never thought imaginable. Grateful for the ten years. I also felt I had accomplished so many things during that ten years. Aside from continuing to raise my children in a healthy and loving environment, I found myself again, found things I love to do and able to help others all the while. I have found my purpose in life and in that time discovered how I work best and am hopeful of what the future holds. I feel like I've only scratched the surface of what I can accomplish. This ten years was just the first ten years and have much more to accomplish in the coming years. Which brings me to understand my story isn't over. While I may have not done all I had set out to do or be in the place I thought I would be during this ten year period, it is okay. It just wasn't mean for me at this time. My story isn't over. In fact, the past ten years were just the start, I found my purpose, I found how to be aware of myself, and I have found how to manage myself in this crazy life. My story isn't over. I may have more failures, more gratitude, more accomplishments and more to learn. My story isn't over. So while I had place so much importance on the ten year mark, it turns out it wasn't as much of an impact as I imagined. My story isn't over and I am looking forward to the years to come. My guess is your story isn't over either. ~ChaCha
