Reflection
Reflection was a taboo word for me for a long time during my younger years. Instead of reflecting on the events and actions of my life, I found myself immersed in other's problems and challenges. I think it was easier for me to focus on others than myself. And this became a habit. Avoidance instead of reflection.
I took the plunge many years ago and very soon afterwards I knew it wasn't working. But with families involved and children involved, I felt I should hold on in spite of my unhappiness (and his too). That period also offered an opportunity to avoid reflecting on my life and instead immersed myself in my kids and work. Avoidance instead of reflection.
It wasn't until I finally found my courage and spent the time to reflect on my life, choices I made, paths I was taking, that I realized that reflection will actually help me in my life. I would say I had to learn to be brutally honest with myself, no longer glazing over faults of my own and focusing on other. I had to learn to be true to myself of what I really wanted in life, not what my family wanted for me. I had to learn to dig deep into my passions on how to take my future in the direction I want it instead of how others think it should go. It was tough, it was a rude awakening and yet I'm still alive to write this. It won't break you, bend you and twist you at time but it won't break you.
One thing about reflection it that is between you and you. So you be honest with yourself in the privacy of the relationship with yourself. Nobody else will know unless you choose to let somebody in. For me, starting my reflection journal helped get things out (a sort of therapy) and there does not need any rhyme or reason - getting it out is the most important part. Think it, write it, verbalized it, draw it, photography it - do what works best for you. Find the courage to reflect.
Some key questions to ask yourself include --Are you happy, really happy, smile on your face and you can conquer the world happy? If not, what do you want? Are you spending time with people you like, who accept you, strengths and faults alike? If not, what do you need to change? Are you bringing the best you to every situation? If not, what's holding you back? Are you taking responsibility for your life, letting go of failures, learning from them and embracing things that work well? Are you ready to change yourself to live the life that is waiting for you? These are just a few reflection questions to get started, one that helped me get started. And it's okay if you have other questions that need to be answered. It's your reflection but one more requirement.....
Before you get started- you are not allowed to beat yourself up on answers you don't like or didn't expect or that you don't yet have. That is part of the reflection, to not have all the answers or solutions at that very moment. Reflection takes time, it takes repeating, it takes care, it takes love of yourself, it takes courage. I have it in me. You have it in you. It is in everyone.
Once you feel like you're going in the direction you wish to go, it may be easy to forget about reflection time - it has happened to me. Work to keep reflection in your toolbox to keep your relationship with you fresh and updated, we humans change and our direction, wants and needs will change too. Reflection need to change with us.
Reflection is a gift you give yourself. Reflection is a gift you give others. Reflection is the start of a more loving, deeper relationship with yourself. You have the courage within you and to have a deeper relationship with yourself. ~ChaCha
