Mindfulness - Say What?
I’ll be the first to admit I really hadn’t thought about mindfulness or what it even means. I hadn’t really thought about being aware of things going on with me and around me. In fact, I think most people really are thinking about his or herself, how things are happening “around” and “to” them and react accordingly. I finally realized that in order to change how I reacted to situations, I really needed to become mindful.
Like most changes in life, it does require work. Lots of work. Lots of work all the time. Aside from when I’m sleeping, I found myself having to work at being mindful. It’s easy to slip back into the “around” and “to” me mode instead of being aware of what is “around” and “others” mode. Yes, you read that right … mindfulness includes “others”.
Why do I include “others”? I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Life is 10 percent of what happens and 90 percent of how you react to it”. Well most often we are reacting to “others” so we must include them in the equation of being mindful. And so including others into the equation requires more work. Work, work, work. But don’t get discouraged yet. It’s good work. It’s work that will pay off in the end.
Mindfulness also needs its partner in crime, empathy. Empathy and identifying with the feelings and attitudes of others helps with deciphering the “others” impact of our ability to be mindful. Without thinking or caring about others, it’s easy to slip back into the “around” and “to” mode. And believe me, I have found adding empathy into the equation will make being a much smoother journey. And yes, it’s a journey.
Journeys are pathways, some winding, some straight, some easy, some challenging and so practicing mindfulness and empathy is truly a journey. First it’s a decision to take the journey. Like a road trip or an adventure, I had to decide that it was a journey I wanted to take and would put in the time and commitment. And on that journey I would become of aware of myself and my surroundings, practice mindfulness, and start with empathy. Instead of jumping to a conclusion, I would first put myself in the other person’s shoes and try to see the situation from their shoes. While I do not use empathy to excuse behaviors that are harsh or cruel, I do try to use empathy to explain why the other person is saying or doing what they do. And keeping that in mind, then I am able to react in a more calm, understanding or positive manner.
I am a work in progress – by no means have I mastered this but I find I spend more time in mindfulness than not these days. Like most habits, it will take anywhere from 21-30 days to change that habit –and its work. I think I may have mentioned before, it’s work. One of the keys for this to work is if you don’t practice mindfulness and react accordingly, it’s not the end of the world. The other key is to keep at it, start again next time. It takes work. Don’t give up.
Please don’t think mindfulness and empathy is an open door for folks to walk all over you or take advantage of you. Mindfulness and empathy will help you recognize what is going on, react in a way that doesn’t hurt you and if needed, remove yourself from harmful situations. And to do this takes work. After a while, it will be second nature and you won’t even realize you’re being mindful. And fewer situations will hurt you and life will be more positive and peaceful. It won’t hurt but it does take some work. Give it a try and nothing but good energy on your journey. ~ChaCha
